To all the struggling rock bands out there desperately hoping for that elusive record contract, have you considered replacing your current bass player with a pretty one? Not pretty in a John Taylor of Duran Duran way—although that does seem to work also—but in a Kim Gordon of Sonic Youth or Kim Deal of The Pixies way. (Obviously, your chance for success is greater if she's also named Kim.) Putting a hot chick behind a bass guitar is almost a lock on rock glory.
Before women were allowed to rock, though, there were The Beatles and the Rolling Stones. Paul McCartney, arguably The Beatles' prettiest member, played the bass. The Beatles hold almost every record imaginable in the music industry. The Rolling Stones, on the other hand, are not as successful because their original bass player, Bill Wyman, was not a pretty man. Had Bill Wyman been pretty, it probably would have created too much competition for Mick Jagger's ego to deal with. This could have led to an early breakup for the band. Since the Rolling Stones have stayed together longer than the Beatles, it was to their advantage that Bill Wyman was not pretty. Still, who holds the record for more number one hit albums? The Beatles.
Then, there was Carol Kaye. Back in the early 1960s, she was a pioneer in professional music. Making it acceptable for a woman to play bass with the boys, she played with everyone: Sam Cooke, Quincy Jones, Phil Spector, Glen Campbell, Ray Charles, Herb Alpert, Joe Cocker, The Beach Boys, Elvis, Frank, Barbra... over 10,000 sessions in all. She set the standard because although she was an awesome bass player, she was also hot. http://www.carolkaye.com/www/biography/index.htm
Other groups have tried variations on this formula with moderate success, sticking the pretty girl behind the keyboards (New Order, Pulp) or behind the bass-like cello (Belle and Sebastian, Kronos Quartet). But the success rate of these bands hasn't come near matching the attractive female bass player recipe for success. Some bands have tried a reverse formula, putting a plain girl behind a drum kit. This usually leads to critical acclaim and influence (Velvet Underground's Maureen Tucker being the best example). But, even Dewey Finn, the lovable lug of a substitute teacher in the film School of Rock, understood the female bass player phenomenon. He chose the prettiest girl in the classroom to be not a groupie, but a bass player. Pretty girls just make bands. -S.T.
Some Pretty Girls That Have Made Bands:
Talking Heads (Tina Weymouth)
Sonic Youth (Kim Gordon)
The Pixies (Kim Deal)
The Breeders (Josephine Wiggs)
The Pogues (Cait O'Riordan)
Smashing Pumpkins (D'arcy Wretsky)
Hole (Melissa Auf Der Maur)
Smashing Pumpkins #2 (Melissa Auf Der Maur)
Smashing Pumpkins #3 aka Zwan (Paz Lenchantin)
Superchunk (Laura Balance)
White Zombie (Sean Yseult)
L7 (Jennifer Finch)
Dandy Warhols (Zia "keybass" McCabe)
B-52s (Sara Lee on Cosmic Thing)
The Lemonheads (Juliana Hatfield)
Luna (Britta Phillips)
Stellastarr* (Amanda Tannen—still yet to be determined if this new band will become a rock and roll legacy or memory)
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